I talked to my doctor's office a couple of days ago and have been a nervous wreck ever since. The results of the blood pressure monitor were no surprise--my blood pressure dives dangerously low, especially while I'm sleeping and my pulse goes right with it. They told me they were calling in a prescription for a drug called Florinef (click on the link and browse a little if you really want to feel my anxiety) to bring my blood pressure up. I knew a little about this drug from researching adrenal issues like Addison's Disease (something I could possibly have, something that hasn't been tested for, something this drug treats specifically) and let's just say, I knew before looking that it's not like popping an Advil.
I love this doctor so far, but my other two doctors have e-mailed me saying that this drug should not be administered without proper (and specific) diagnosis. They didn't think I should take it based on low blood pressure alone. So, I'm stuck again. My "functional medicine guy" told me he's expecting results from the lab any minute now and asked me to please wait to start therapy until we could get to the root of the problem.
Meanwhile, I am at home (not alone this time, thank God! Andy's off today), afraid to spend another night with fainting spells, wondering if my blood pressure will dip too dangerously low and land me in the hospital (or worse), not understanding why it's happening in the first place...
This morning, I got my journal out and just started writing prayers. I asked God to take care of my doctors and give them wisdom. I asked Him to strengthen me and lead me through this. I asked for answers to come soon, but, most of all, I asked for peace of mind. The worst part about all of this (besides the obvious physical symptoms) is the fear and uncertainty that goes along with the process...The responsibility I have for making my own decisions regarding my health is a big one and it is overwhelming me lately.
Please keep the prayers coming.
If this gets fixed, I will know beyond the shadow of a doubt who fixed it. THAT, I know for sure!
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Friday, February 6, 2009
Thursday, April 26, 2007
We Are Blessed
Did anyone happen to watch the "American Idol Gives Back" special on Fox last night? Andy and I did and we were both in tears. It never fails: Every time I see people starving in other countries or suffering from treatable medical conditions, a flood of emotions washes over me and I can only think one thing......I don't do enough.
I am sitting in an oversized leather chair right now with my laptop, eating a bowl of Dora the Explorer ice cream (thank you Landon!) and listening to the music I have playing on one of the cable music channels. The house is air conditioned. My healthy son is sound asleep on the couch across the room from me dressed in one of many cute outfits you could find in his closet (when I've had time to finish the laundry--ha ha!). His belly is full and he has a room full of toys waiting for him when he wakes up.....WE ARE BLESSED.
The American Idol special inspired a cascade of many thoughts in my mind: I take for granted the box of antibacterial hand wipes I always carry in Landon's diaper bag (to make sure I'm prepared to clean up after any "toddler surprises"--LOL-- while we're out at restaurants or parks)....People in Africa live and work in the most filthy conditions and sometimes only have a muddy river with which to cool themselves at the end of a long, hot day. I go to sleep each night complaining about how hard my king size mattress is...They sleep on the floor of dirt huts, surrounded by fifteen other people. While I'm making a larger-than-life grocery list to e-mail to my husband, there are people out there who don't know when their next opportunity to eat might be. Everything around me, from our car to our house to our shoes and toothpaste is a silent reminder not just of how blessed we are, but of our responsibility to give back to the world......How can I complain about anything?
Last night Andy brought me a glass of water and all I could think about were the people who would never see a glass of clear, clean water as long as they live. It is all too easy to go blindly about our lives, oblivious to the tragedy that surrounds us all over the world. I am overwhelmed with gratitude...and with sadness...and with the fear that comes with the idea that there is nothing separating me and my family from the people we call "the less fortunate". We were born here into THIS and they just happened to be born there into THAT....... Why, oh why do we take so, so many things for granted?
Each night, when I lie down to pray with my little boy, I say, "Thank you God for every breath that we take. Thank you for every beat of our hearts. Thank you for every moment that we're alive and for every day we are able to wake up and spend another day together as a family..." I think about these things fairly often, but last night, in particular, marked a turning point for me. I said goodbye to sitting back and watching with pity from my little corner of the world, and decided that from this point on I will DO something--whenever I can, however I can. I will not wait for the next loss to remind me of the gifts which surround me. I will not wait for illness or poverty to strike close enough to home to teach me what life is really about.
Beyond being thankful for our station in life, we should realize that we have a responsibility that comes with that station. Beyond saying a blessing over each meal we eat, we should help provide food to those who have none. I believe everything happens for a reason. I believe God has put each of us into a particular financial, material & geographical place for a purpose (no matter how difficult that is to imagine...) and that he will judge us according to how we used His gifts to better the world around us. It begins with our families and branches out according to our own ability. Some of us have money...Some have an incredible talent...Some of us have nothing but the ability to pray and LOVE, but all of us have the same responsibility to help people who are struggling. I hope I am always able to put my thoughts into action & to make a difference, but even more importantly, I hope I am able to instill these same thoughts and sentiments into my son so that he will do the same.
***LIFE IS GOOD...SPREAD THE LOVE***
I am sitting in an oversized leather chair right now with my laptop, eating a bowl of Dora the Explorer ice cream (thank you Landon!) and listening to the music I have playing on one of the cable music channels. The house is air conditioned. My healthy son is sound asleep on the couch across the room from me dressed in one of many cute outfits you could find in his closet (when I've had time to finish the laundry--ha ha!). His belly is full and he has a room full of toys waiting for him when he wakes up.....WE ARE BLESSED.
The American Idol special inspired a cascade of many thoughts in my mind: I take for granted the box of antibacterial hand wipes I always carry in Landon's diaper bag (to make sure I'm prepared to clean up after any "toddler surprises"--LOL-- while we're out at restaurants or parks)....People in Africa live and work in the most filthy conditions and sometimes only have a muddy river with which to cool themselves at the end of a long, hot day. I go to sleep each night complaining about how hard my king size mattress is...They sleep on the floor of dirt huts, surrounded by fifteen other people. While I'm making a larger-than-life grocery list to e-mail to my husband, there are people out there who don't know when their next opportunity to eat might be. Everything around me, from our car to our house to our shoes and toothpaste is a silent reminder not just of how blessed we are, but of our responsibility to give back to the world......How can I complain about anything?
Last night Andy brought me a glass of water and all I could think about were the people who would never see a glass of clear, clean water as long as they live. It is all too easy to go blindly about our lives, oblivious to the tragedy that surrounds us all over the world. I am overwhelmed with gratitude...and with sadness...and with the fear that comes with the idea that there is nothing separating me and my family from the people we call "the less fortunate". We were born here into THIS and they just happened to be born there into THAT.......
Each night, when I lie down to pray with my little boy, I say, "Thank you God for every breath that we take. Thank you for every beat of our hearts. Thank you for every moment that we're alive and for every day we are able to wake up and spend another day together as a family..." I think about these things fairly often, but last night, in particular, marked a turning point for me. I said goodbye to sitting back and watching with pity from my little corner of the world, and decided that from this point on I will DO something--whenever I can, however I can. I will not wait for the next loss to remind me of the gifts which surround me. I will not wait for illness or poverty to strike close enough to home to teach me what life is really about.
Beyond being thankful for our station in life, we should realize that we have a responsibility that comes with that station. Beyond saying a blessing over each meal we eat, we should help provide food to those who have none. I believe everything happens for a reason. I believe God has put each of us into a particular financial, material & geographical place for a purpose (no matter how difficult that is to imagine...) and that he will judge us according to how we used His gifts to better the world around us. It begins with our families and branches out according to our own ability. Some of us have money...Some have an incredible talent...Some of us have nothing but the ability to pray and LOVE, but all of us have the same responsibility to help people who are struggling. I hope I am always able to put my thoughts into action & to make a difference, but even more importantly, I hope I am able to instill these same thoughts and sentiments into my son so that he will do the same.
***LIFE IS GOOD...SPREAD THE LOVE***
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